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finding a silver lining to this dark cloud...
09.20.2001 - 2:33 PM

Well, just as I thought.


I am a full-blown diabetic. Now I have to see some "speicalist" to determine whether or not I need to inject myself with insulin everyday. NO NOT THE NEEDLES! FUCK!!!! NOT THE NEEDLES!!! heh. I don't think it's hit me yet that I'm going to have to change my diet, and poke myself each morning to check my blood sugar, and that I can't have anymore sweets, etc. I'm trying to find some humor in this, because I thought I was going to the doctor he she could tell me the results of the blood test, and next thing I know, she's telling me to get in a damn hopsital gown cause she wants to give me a physical (heh again-- she just wants me-- heh)... So the next thing I know, she's giving me an EKG, probing in my ears and throat, and then I look over at her little table thingy and there's a tube of KY jelly... and I'm like, "uhhhhhhhhh, what the..... what's the KY for?"


"So I can check your prostate... Don't worry, it won't hurt," she says. At first, I put off what she said, as if checking the prostate was something done with a machine or something.


Then I suddenly remember one story that Al told me about a physical that he had, where he had to have his prostate checked-- about having to bend over and have his doc poke around in his ass-- and then it clicked.


"OH FUCK NO!" I thought, hastily retreating with my ass towards the wall. At this point, she was actually checking my throat with one of those popsicle stick thingies, and she screamed, "What happened, what hurts? Does your throat hurt?"


"Waitwaitwaitwait... are you going to stick something in my ass???"


"What? I'm checking your throat, not your behind..." she said with a smirk.


"I know that... but later, with that KY stuff-- do you HAVE to do THAT?"


"Well of course, you haven't had a physical in almost 12 years, I need to do a thorough check-up."

"No way, no no no no no no-- you know that my main problem is my heart and this blood sugar thing, everything else should be cool..."

"But I have to........ "

"Forget it... I can't do that."

And after about 10 minutes more of arguing, She finally gave in-- but with a warning that I may need to sign a waiver-type thing that I wouldn't let her check it.� Fine by me-- This ass is ONE WAY ONLY-- thank you very much.

So now I'm home, I haven't told my parents, first of all because I don't need to hear their "I told you so" bullshit, and second of all, they've already got hella shit to worry about, there's no need to add my drama...

There's a silver lining to every dark cloud; now I just have to find it.

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