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for M--
10.07.2001 - 12:15 AM

you intrigue me. i check daily to see if you've updated your diary, and as i read your entries, i want to know more about you. more than what you can type on your computer. more than what you reveal about yourself online.

i want to know why. why you do the things you do.
why you feel the need to cut.
to add physical pain to emotional.
to add blood to the tears.

i don't know you at all, yet i've felt like i've known you forever. like a dear friend whose parents made them move away when they were kids and yet still finds a way to communicate.

3000 miles away, yet somehow, seemingly close.
as close as next door.

i read about your pains-- the emotional roller coaster you go through with him-- and i feel the need to get to the nearest phone to call you...

... but yet i don't even know your number.

is it possible to have a connection with someone who you've never met? to want to be there for them in their time of need, yet still be wary of them because of the fact that you don't even know them?

i think it's called "empathy".

you know you need to get away. i want to take you away. even for just a couple of hours. i don't know how, but i still do. to show you that we're not all like that. to show you that some of us do care. to show you that some of us out here in this vast land do think of others before themselves. he doesn't know what he lost; and when he finally realizes it, it'll hit him as hard as running into a brick wall.

i've told you before that i care. i worry. i pray.

for you.

get away from him for awhile. not for like forever, just until you get to clear your thoughts... come out to CA even!

well, it was just a suggestion... :)

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