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bad bad bad
11.12.2001 - 2:22 AM

so today was mom's birthday, and i stayed home to spend some quality time with her... technically, today's the 12th, so i guess i should say yesterday was mom's birthday.

i just got home from my buddy Victor's place; we celebrated his birthday too, although it's not until tuesday... but it's hard to throw a little get-together on a tuesday when everyone has to work the next day. hmmmmm... i guess a sunday night is no different, but..............

Natalie and I are trying to get everyone together for another picture like this one again this year, but it seems like no one wants to do it, particularly Ben and Larry... Larry said he would, but I can tell he really doesn't want to. maybe Nat can try and talk to them.

last night i went out with Christina for drinks and some munchies after work. it didn't hit me until last night that she likes to talk about herself a lot; not that i minded, because i probably would have talked about Francisca the whole night, but still-- it's nice to be asked how i'm doing once in awhile, ya know?

i've reeeeeally got to stop smoking, because i can feel my heart beating all weird sometimes, and these chest pains and arm numbness are starting to hit me at weird times-- it's especially uncool when i'm driving and it starts hurting so bad that i can't fucking move my left arm and shit...

i keep having this recurring dream that i died and no one came to the funeral-- is that supposed to mean something? ya know, if i ever did die (knock on wood that i don't for a long time **knockknock**), someone puhleeeeeeze do me a favor and show these entries to her so she could know how i felt about her? thanks.....

wow. morbid thoughts and chest pains. that's a bad combo.

think happy thoughts, jay... just think happy thoughts.

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