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tick. tick. tick. tick.
11.28.2001 - 12:03 AM

If my "friends" only knew just how much of a ticking time bomb I am right now...

Wait a minute. If they were my "friends", wouldn't they have noticed something by now?

... or am I just hiding it very well?
... or is it that they don't give a shit?
... or is it that they can tell, but I'm so closed off that they're hesitant to say anything?

Fuck it. I've had to depend on myself for this long, I can't afford to depend on anyone else.

Maybe Ben was on to something when he told me,"If it shows that you don't give a shit, then it's hard for us to give a shit too..."

These fucking people know that I've given a shit about all of them since day one. We've all had our differences at one point, but they all know that I've always been around when needed. what-the-fuck-ever.

I need answers. Answers to what seems like thousands of questions running through my mind. through my soul. through my heart. Questions for myself, questions for my parents, questions for my bosses, questions for my relatives, questions for my "friends", questions for her

it's all a front, people. if you see me at work, with a huge smile on my face and actually helping a customer without complaint, then know deep inside that it's all a front.

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